


The Event of the Season

by neveryou



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Angst, Gen, M/M, No Dialogue, but actually, no really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-12
Updated: 2018-03-12
Packaged: 2019-03-30 08:07:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13947348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neveryou/pseuds/neveryou
Summary: Jeff shouldn't be here...





	The Event of the Season

**Author's Note:**

> This has been sitting on my hard drive for YEARS. Obviously.
> 
> Not true, etc. Con crit appreciated.

Jeff shouldn’t be here. He knew it, everyone else knew it. SHE didn’t want him here. Didn’t want him in the same country for this. This was HER day and she didn’t want Jeff here to ruin it for her. His family tried to talk him out of coming, because they didn’t know how to deal with a Jeff who was less than content. His teammates tried to talk him out of coming, because they were there through the years leading up to this and they’re tired of seeing Jeff torture himself. Anyone and everyone involved in the event itself tried to talk him out of coming, because they all knew that Jeff’s attendance was a terrible idea, even if most of them didn’t know why.

But Mike asked, so Jeff was here. He wasn’t standing up; Mike’s brothers were taking care of that, but he was here. Jeff was unofficially placed in the care of the teammates who made the trek to Winnipeg in July. Doughty and Lewis, who were a package deal these days, decided to take charge of Jeff. They were the ones closest to Jeff in the last year after Mike wasn’t anymore. After Jeff moved out of Mike’s(and HER)place, he ended up spending more time at Drew and Trevor’s house than his own. Jeff wasn’t very good at being alone. At least in Columbus he was far enough away from anyone(mike) that he was kind of forced into the situation. But now Mike was right there and Jeff was still alone.

The problem was, Jeff knew it was his own fault he was alone. Mike had wanted to try, to be more than they always had been, but Jeff was too afraid. He couldn’t think of Mike’s family or Mike’s career without hyperventilating, so he left. Jeff told Mike he didn’t feel that way. Jeff told Mike he was crazy to think they could ever be more. Jeff pushed Mike away, he thought, to keep him safe. To keep himself safe. Jeff didn’t realize what he had really done until it was too late.

Because it _was_ too late. He was at Mike’s wedding. He was sitting in the audience at Mike’s wedding to the perfect woman. Everyone said so. Everyone was so glad Mike was finally making a commitment, finally growing up. Very few of them knew that Mike was settling for the only thing he thought he could have. They all thought Mike was happy.

SHE knew Mike wasn’t happy. SHE knew that with her, Mike was as close to happy as he would ever get. That was why SHE had made it perfectly clear that she didn’t want Jeff to come to the wedding. SHE had told Jeff directly that he would not be attending, but Mike had called Jeff a few days before the ceremony. Mike had begged Jeff to come and support him. Mike had made it clear that he needed Jeff there. Jeff had never been able to deny Mike something he needed from him. Except the one thing that really mattered.

Jeff sat in an uncomfortable chair between Drew and Trevor and stared straight ahead. This was for the best, he reminded himself. The music started and Mike and his brothers walked in. Jeff concentrated on not looking anywhere but straight ahead. He snuck a glance at Mike and immediately wished he hadn’t. Mike was looking right at him with a smile. Mike looked for all the world like this was the happiest day of his life, but Jeff could see the strain around his eyes.

Jeff’s throat started to close up and before he even realized he was trying to stand up there was a strong hand on each of his knees holding him down and Drew’s other hand on his shoulder and a voice in his ear frantically telling him to stay where he was. Jeff forced himself to stay in his seat and the hands on his knees retreated. Drew’s hand stayed on his shoulder, though, a reminder that Jeff wasn’t the only one here. There were dozens of other people who only knew that this was a happy occasion. The hand helped Jeff remember it wasn’t his place anymore to try and fix things for Mike. He had given up that right, along with any chance of real happiness for either of them. Jeff took a deep breath and then everyone was standing as the bridesmaids started down the aisle. Drew squeezed his shoulder, hard enough to hurt. Jeff nodded his head. He would hold it together. He had to.

From that moment on, Jeff turned off. He didn’t hear anything, he didn’t see anything. He sat when he felt the others sit and stood when Drew pulled him up by his elbow. Before long the ceremony was over. He allowed the guys to shuffle him out of the sanctuary and toward the bathroom. Drew hustled him inside and locked the door behind them. Drew started to say something but Jeff held up his hand and shook his head. If anyone talked to him he would lose it completely. He just needed to get out of here.

Drew nodded and turned to unlock the door. Jeff stumbled out after him into the waiting press of their teammates. He shook his head violently when someone asked if he wanted to go through the receiving line. Drew and Trevor each put an arm around his shoulders and led him out a side door. As soon as the sunlight hit his face he realized he was breathing like he had just been bag skated within an inch of his life. He bent over and braced his hands on his knees.

He could hear Drew and Trevor talking above him, but he didn’t know what they were saying. Jeff knew he had to calm down or he would start to cry and never be able to stop. He forced himself to slow his breathing. Drew leaned down to ask if he was all right. Jeff nodded and stood up. They didn’t deserve babysitting duty, they probably wanted to go through the receiving line to give their congratulations to Mike. Jeff shooed them back inside with a promise that he would stay right here until they came to get him.

As soon as the guys were gone, Jeff looked around and realized he was in the church’s playground. He walked over to a picnic table under a tree and sat down. It was nice in the shade and Jeff tried to think about the tree and the table and the weather. He sat there for what could have been a minute or an hour.

He heard the door to the church open and looked up to find Mike walking towards him. Jeff was frozen, too shocked to move. Mike walked over and stood in front of Jeff. Jeff stared at the ground, not trusting himself to look at Mike. Mike grabbed him by his shoulders and hauled him up into a bear hug. Jeff couldn’t do anything but hang on. Mike squeezed him hard and took a breath like he was going to say something. Jeff shook his head frantically and Mike ended up just hugging him harder. Jeff wan’t sure how long they stood there, but suddenly the door was opening again and Drew stepped out, clearing his throat. Mike gave a last squeeze and stepped back, hands still gripping Jeff’s shoulders. Jeff opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out. Mike smiled sadly before he pressed their foreheads together for a brief moment. Then he stepped back, turned around and walked back into the church.

Jeff didn’t open his eyes until Drew’s hand was on his shoulder. All he could manage to do when Drew asked him if he was ready to go was blink and shiver. Drew and Trevor helped him back to their rental car and took him back to the hotel. Jeff was still shivering. Jeff insisted the other two men go to the reception. They reluctantly left after extracting a promise from Jeff that he would call if he needed anything. Jeff took the longest, hottest shower of his life, but it didn’t make him feel any warmer. He called down to the front desk for extra blankets and finally fell asleep still too cold.

He woke up wondering if he’d ever feel warm again.


End file.
